ramblings of me

another day another bore

Wed, 15 Jun 2005 11:30:14 +0200

Today so far has been so incredibly fun, first of all i got stuck in traffic and now i'm at college sitting here emptying the contents of my head into this computer, a very fine computer if i do say so myself.Anway today i have art, i would say that that is interesting but since it was my art teachers funeral yesterday i refuse to comment. We now have this strange-ish (is that a word?) teacher who has a curly haired mullet and scares me a bit because of it, however i must be nice and say that he seems fairly normal enough, interested in his work, enthusatic, i could say more but i've just used up all the words in my vocabulary, .

Another day another bore i suppose, anyway i can't stop because even though all my first year exams are over i still have so much to do for next year, like to begin my specialist art project, i know sounds very interesting but is in fact quite tedious. I've decided that i'm going to base my project on trees and look at the work of Constable, Rousseuu and monet.
I thinking bold brushstrokes, vibrant colours; golds, yellows, greens, reds and blues; all dancing in harmony on the canvas.
i sound like i know what i'm talking about but in fact am really winging it a bit.

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me

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 14:35:06 +0200

Hello i am now publicly forcing myself and my trivial life onto anybody who is bored/stupid enough to read it(sorry i insulted you).
I am Selina, 17, single, and extremly bored and tired of life. In the past month 3 people i know have died, my granddad, my art teacher and my friend, sorry i had to tell you that but it would probably explain my mood at the moment, which is verging on the the colour black and also explains a lot, but not all of what i am about to and probably will say in the future. My only piece of wisdom that i can offer to anybody is that LIFE SUCKS AND IS UTTERLY AND TOTALLY POINTLESS ergo nothing you do will ever have a point or purpose therfore there is no point in trying.

The end.

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choices

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 14:18:39 +0200

There are just tooo many choices out there so much so that they are quite overwhelming and make me fell quite nauseous.Which university to go to?which course do i take? what to wear? how to act? what to be? do i stay or do i go?!? i don't bloody know THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
Maybe i'll just take the easy way out and become even more of an nobody, a pale faced robot endlessly walking about blank and empty; souless.
Maybe that's my destiny or maybe that's just me, i don't know neither do i care. All i know is that i don't want to be here any more, maybe i'll escape to a desert island where nobody else exists or become a hermit.I can't face the superficial stares the ticking clocks or uglyness of humanity, it's sickening and repulsive and i don't want to be a part of it any more. Maybe it is possible to go an alternate reality in my mind, if people who have an religious experience are experiencing some genuine real entity, then why can't i live in my mind because it would be hyperthetical real in some sense.I could be the god of my own existence in total control, creating everything and nothing letting my creation be.
or i could just be talking in nonsensical circles, i could just except my mundane pointless existence as a brute fact and wait for it to end, or i could take control and end it now. I wonder if there is such a thing as reincarntion, well there is only one way to find out.

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boring

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 13:50:12 +0200

today is a day just like any other;intolerable and tedious with no meaning and no point.
i wish i could just be, instead of ought to be, to shut the rest of the world off and live in my own little psychodelic fantasy where trees can talk and cat's bark instead of meow and where humans don't exist.

if only...........then my life would be that just little bit more worth living. at the moment i feel like giving it to the next person who asks for it. i wish kayliegh were here instead of me, at least she was actually doing something with hers and she deserved to live, if i could of given it to her i would of but i can't. so i'm going to let it rot in protest and when the smell becomes too bad i'm going to throw it away and demand another.

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